It's one thing to be able to speak English -- with all of its idioms, dialects, colloquialisms and the basic berserk grammar rules -- but quite another to write it. When speaking, we're firing on all cylinders, words flying out of our mouths before we have time to parse our grammar to gauge the effect they have. When writing, we have time to reflect, rewrite, and reconsider before someone else reads our words. Well, we used to. With the advent of e-mail, social media and texting (a word I'm still not too happy with), our writing is now as loosey-goosey as our speech was once allowed to be. The difference is that writing English has even more rules than simply speaking it, and they are glaringly obvious if neglected. You and I may be having a conversation, and you use the subjunctive incorrectly. Although I silently correct your "was" with a "were," I'll probably forget about it during the next exchange. However, if I see you use an apostrophe where no apostrophe ought to be, broadcast to the global community, and likely to remain so for years to come, I may cringe and think "Oh, I thought he was smarter than that."
Is it fair? Of course not! It's grammar. Grammar has never been fair. Neither was the fact that I had to wear discount store clothes as a child, but I got over it. Sort of. You will be judged for poor grammar, maybe not by the majority of your friends, but by the smarter ones. Do you really want that?
And let's not go crazy, here. (Look, I even started a sentence with "and." I recognize the validity of conversational tone in internet writing.) No one cares if you have every comma in place. Some people think that certain commas are optional, even. But make the effort. I probably can't help you if you insist on writing in all lowercase letters, abbreviate every other word, and never use any kind of punctuation, but if you're trying to have an adult conversation using the internet, these tips can help.* Today we will discuss:
It's/Its and Who's/Whose
"Its" is the possessive of the pronoun "it." "It's" is a contraction for "it is." "Whose" is the possessive of "who." "Who's" is a contraction for "who is."
To help you remember, if you are putting in an apostrophe for either "it" or "who," say the sentence (silently is best) with "it is" or "who is" in place of what you've written. If it fits, leave the apostrophe. If it sounds like a line from a Dadaist play, take it out.
It's no great sin to type "its" when you mean "it's." You were in a hurry, and that damn smartphone makes you press and hold to get the apostrophe. No time! Must post what I ate today and get back to Facebook-stalking my ex! But, typing the apostrophe when you don't need it? That ventures into a disinterest in homogenous language that makes the starch in my collar go limp.
In short, type smart, sound smart. Happy narcissistic ramblings to you all!
*Oh, I realize that every smarty-pants humorist and grim-faced grammarian has already posted something similar, but the disease is still out there, so I have no choice but to keep dosing.
Your right. Oops.
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